She could not say for definite if he made her feel alive, awaken, real, confused, obssessed, estatic, high, vivid, intoxicated, blunt, numb or [insert the next adjective that illustrates what you have ever experienced]. Because he made her feel. Everything at once and at the same time nothing. At the end hallowness blurred it all.
Constantly going back and forth. Two steps closer, one back. Wanting and
resenting. Rebelling and accepting. Determination and doubtfulness. Truth and poorly structured self-convincing lies. The quet and afterwards the noise. The escape and the constraints. The adrenaline rush and the unavoidable fatigue.
He could yield so much with such ease that it was impossible for her to get enough, to reach completeness. Because completeness has never existed in her world. It astonished her and meanwhile scared her. He did. She was there and yet she was not. It seemed like there was a clock counting down the time left, but miliseconds were the only units that were present. The hours and minutes, they were all miliseconds. Less than a blink, less than a formed thought, less than a captured frame.
18 Mar 2014
5 Mar 2014
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People spend in searching a great and ambiguous proportion of their lives.
Searching for a meaning, love, excitement, happiness, a way to numb the pain, a way to fulfill their dreams and goals, and why not just a way out, understanding, reasons, explanation, a person, a feeling, a miracle, solutions, answers, the right, and the wrong ones and the life itself. Often searching is occurring simultaneously with expectations. Otherwise why would people devote so much time and efforts if they never expect and hope to find it? Little do we know about the aftermath of this long and exhaustive search, or little do we care. People are going to tell you lies. You are going to give your fair share of lies as well. Hell, I am going to tell you lies. A lie, after another, because in fact what do we know for definite? Do you? I don't.
You will keep searching and subsequently discovering what you seeked for or you will have to comply with the harsh reality that such findings are not destined to some of you. In both alternatives, you will reach to an outcome, you will discover, but it might not be what you expected.
It might not be what you wanted.
Take it. Accept it. Understand it. Leave it. Forget it. Embrace it. But regardless of which of these you choose, it is not absolute. It is a subject to change.
Searching for a meaning, love, excitement, happiness, a way to numb the pain, a way to fulfill their dreams and goals, and why not just a way out, understanding, reasons, explanation, a person, a feeling, a miracle, solutions, answers, the right, and the wrong ones and the life itself. Often searching is occurring simultaneously with expectations. Otherwise why would people devote so much time and efforts if they never expect and hope to find it? Little do we know about the aftermath of this long and exhaustive search, or little do we care. People are going to tell you lies. You are going to give your fair share of lies as well. Hell, I am going to tell you lies. A lie, after another, because in fact what do we know for definite? Do you? I don't.
You will keep searching and subsequently discovering what you seeked for or you will have to comply with the harsh reality that such findings are not destined to some of you. In both alternatives, you will reach to an outcome, you will discover, but it might not be what you expected.
It might not be what you wanted.
Take it. Accept it. Understand it. Leave it. Forget it. Embrace it. But regardless of which of these you choose, it is not absolute. It is a subject to change.
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