...I feel it and that's the worst.I realize it.I know it.I am part of it.It is part of me.
I so don't belong here.I do not belong to any of these places or people.It is not something that you choose.It is something that is in you.Sometimes deeply buried...and sometimes you push it on the surface of your consciousness...Till the moment it shows up.And you are completely sure that you are that person.I don't believe that I should be in this world at this century at this time.Seriously.
I do not feel like I have a place here.My own.I am not happy for the things the people around me are happy for.Or i will be,just when they are lil different...But I doubt that they will be,someday..Maybe.It is too hard to explain.I don't know why I even always want to analyze myself.What I gain from all this? To know what I want.Alright I think I know it.But I am not so sure that the world around will let me be part of it.I am not sure that I will find my true self.My true place.The place I shine,you know? Duh.It sounds so ridiculous even to think of it.But I do.So finally I will write for it.Cause I do not want to keep this anymore.I do not care anymore about the things around.The things around which do not fit in my world.Just like how I do not fit in this world.And this is the way when the Fear appears....It is lil scary,you know.Or you don't.
The Fear of being 18 and to know that you don't fit in the world or the people...To know that you are lost.And to smile for it.Cause you know it and you accept it...To know that you lost your way.Yes,I totally don't know what way to go.I need to find it.I need to go on.It's me,alright?I won't change.The Fear of knowing your real self and that you don't want to change.Although you know that you lose this way.But you won't lose yourself.That sounds so lame.I'm sorry.
I write this at English,because it is easier to express your deep thoughts at language which is not your first.
...
Can you beat the Fear?
5 comments:
Всеки човек може да изгуби своя път... Не става защото го искаме, а защото е трябвало да стане. Въпреки че го губим, по новия път, по който поемем, може да срещнем хора, за които не сме и предполагали и тези хора, да са именно тези, които ще ни покажат Правилния път. Онзи път по който Те не биха ни оставили да вървим сами....
Усмивка (:
Sooo I think it`s better to be yourself no matter what others are going to say or do... cuz they suck! You don`t have to change yourself because of some idiots - they don`t diserve it. And some day you`ll find a place that you belong and you can call a home.
And by the way - you totally rock! If someone can`t understand and notice that - he/she is the lost one, not you!
Мнооооого,безкрайно много благодаря и на двете за подкрепата и за това,че има някой,който не мисли,че съм изперкала тотално xD
Надявам се,че ще намеря и пътя и хората,и ако те са като вас,ще бъде супер *хъгс* =)))
Гарантирам, че Селена е именно такъв човек. Нали все пак нея срещнах по моя ''път за никъде'' . (: Намерих я и няма да позволя за я изгубя. *слънце*
Пф... разбира се, че не си изперкала. хД Просто си себе си, а повечето хора за забравили какво значи това... *хъг*
=)))
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