Found and Lost

''It was the laughter, the carefree laughter, the three-dimensional Coca-Cola advertisement that you were, the try-anything-once friends, the imperviousness to all that came before you, the chain telephone calls, the in-jokes, the instant music, the sunlight you carried with you, the way he felt when you spoke to his parents, the introductory undergraduate courses, the inevitability of your success, the beach houses, the white lace underwear, the private dancing, the good-graced acceptance of part-time shift work, the apparent absence of expectations, the ever-changing disposable cults of rural, the family, the eastern, the classical, the modern, the postmodern, the impoverished, the sleekly deregulated, the feminine, the feminist, and then the way you canceled with the air of one making a salad.'' - Seven Types of Ambiguity.

How am I supposed to write a blog post after reading this bit of masterpiece? It is impossible, because this little gem is pure beauty and that's it.

***
To say the least I know why I thought of you today,
to say the least I know why I found myself rarely thinking of you,
and to say the least I do not live in the past, so I cannot keep remembering you.
But to finally say the least, I am not even slightest glad that I met you.

I have felt like being on and off for a couple of days. The good and the-not-so-good-ones. Today I could not even say which one of them it was. I painted. I did not like the final result though. It was supposed to be an abstract made of sunset colours and splash of blue. I looked at few photographs and I gave away few smiles. Not real ones. I felt like swimming, but needless to say I did not actually do it. Maybe I should have. I miss the feeling it brought. Being free. I miss even the unmissable. And maybe I even miss you. Not because you were broken, and not because I was broken, but simply, because it seems that I cannot find myself anymore without being lost a bit more...