Thoughts fleeting like the sharp wind you struggle with every cold morning on your way to work.
Having a craving taste of this feeling you had long forgotten and then silently raging, because it turned from sweet to bitter-sweet. Yet bitter is better than no taste at all, so you put a brave face on and make another attempt to preserve it and maybe change it. Do you believe you can?
Abruptly waking up to the sounds of the rain angrily falling against your window, but you don't take it personal. It's rain after-all. Then letting yourself to be subtly drifted to that familiar dream again, with the clear realisation that it's not going to be the same.
Who needs sleep anyway, and grasping this unsatisfying thought in mind you widely open the window and embrace the rain drops, which now looked rather softened as you release them and watch them vanish into the warm room. Somehow doing this did not seem enough, it left the hunting feeling of incompletion and you remember the side effects of it. But it's the only thing you can do and either accept it or evoke the right to do it differently. Do you believe you can?
26 Oct 2014
3 Oct 2014
White noise
Because you are gone and I am still here.
You made the silence beautiful and I will always be entirely grateful for that and for those words poured by a sane version of me. I know you enjoyed the crazy one, but later I came to the realisation that two are needed for this side to surface. You brought it along with the smile. Okay, it wasn't just one, but a dozen. I tried to conceal, I tried to lie myself in forgetting, but at the end how could I?
Time did not grant me with the chance to say everything I wanted to, nor to express all the emotions running through me. Everyday passing over the same places we did and selectively avoiding others. Because you are gone and I am still here.
I will not start on the countless things I miss, all I said on that note was true. But it was only a quarter of what I have felt. And there are so many I may not remember tomorrow or the following week, a month. I can't even recall if we shared a goodbye. Did we? I think I smiled when I wanted to cry, but you know that I am your power ranger and they don't cry,
... neither say goodbyes.
You made the silence beautiful and I will always be entirely grateful for that and for those words poured by a sane version of me. I know you enjoyed the crazy one, but later I came to the realisation that two are needed for this side to surface. You brought it along with the smile. Okay, it wasn't just one, but a dozen. I tried to conceal, I tried to lie myself in forgetting, but at the end how could I?
Time did not grant me with the chance to say everything I wanted to, nor to express all the emotions running through me. Everyday passing over the same places we did and selectively avoiding others. Because you are gone and I am still here.
I will not start on the countless things I miss, all I said on that note was true. But it was only a quarter of what I have felt. And there are so many I may not remember tomorrow or the following week, a month. I can't even recall if we shared a goodbye. Did we? I think I smiled when I wanted to cry, but you know that I am your power ranger and they don't cry,
... neither say goodbyes.
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