When you don't know

Thoughts fleeting like the sharp wind you struggle with every cold morning on your way to work.
Having a craving taste of this feeling you had long forgotten and then silently raging, because it turned from sweet to bitter-sweet. Yet bitter is better than no taste at all, so you put a brave face on and make another attempt to preserve it and maybe change it. Do you believe you can?
Abruptly waking up to the sounds of the rain angrily falling against your window, but you don't take it personal. It's rain after-all. Then letting yourself to be subtly drifted to that familiar dream again, with the clear realisation that it's not going to be the same.
Who needs sleep anyway, and grasping this unsatisfying thought in mind you widely open the window and embrace the rain drops, which now looked rather softened as you release them and watch them vanish into the warm room. Somehow doing this did not seem enough, it left the hunting feeling of  incompletion and you remember the side effects of it. But it's the only thing you can do and either accept it or evoke the right to do it differently. Do you believe you can?