White noise

Because you are gone and I am still here.
You made the silence beautiful and I will always be entirely grateful for that and for those words poured by a sane version of me. I know you enjoyed the crazy one, but later I came to the realisation that two are needed for this side to surface. You brought it along with the smile. Okay, it wasn't just one, but a dozen. I tried to conceal, I tried to lie myself in forgetting, but at the end how could I?
Time did not grant me with the chance to say everything I wanted to, nor to express all the emotions running through me. Everyday passing over the same places we did and selectively avoiding others. Because you are gone and I am still here.
I will not start on the countless things I miss, all I said on that note was true. But it was only a quarter of what I have felt. And there are so many I may not remember tomorrow or the following week, a month. I can't even recall if we shared a goodbye. Did we? I think I smiled when I wanted to cry, but you know that I am your power ranger and they don't cry,
... neither say goodbyes.